Shareable

Here at Shareable.net, we've covered Denver's innovative new bike-sharing program as a huge success--in three short months, it's attracted 14,000 memberships. But we might change our tune, now that we know that the black helicopters are secretly behind the sharing of bicycles:

Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes is warning voters that Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper’s policies, particularly his efforts to boost bike riding, are “converting Denver into a United Nations community.”

“This is all very well-disguised, but it will be exposed,” Maes told about 50 supporters who showed up at a campaign rally last week in Centennial.

Maes said in a later interview that he once thought the mayor’s efforts to promote cycling and other environmental initiatives were harmless and well-meaning. Now he realizes “that’s exactly the attitude they want you to have.”

"This is bigger than it looks like on the surface, and it could threaten our personal freedoms," Maes said. He added: "These aren't just warm, fuzzy ideas from the mayor. These are very specific strategies that are dictated to us by this United Nations program that mayors have signed on to."

I'm kidding; we're not really going to change our tune. We're too busy laughing. As one commentator at Think Progress put it, "Darn it! Maes has uncovered our nefarious plot to promote exercise, clean air, and efficient use of resources!"

(Thanks, Alex!)